We were six years old when I fell in love with Gage Beaumont.
We were seventeen when he realized he felt the same.
His dad was the town troublemaker, and I was the son of a cop. We couldn't have been more different, yet we were best friends, had each other's backs, and kept each other's secrets. What you are, I am, we always said.
Then one night irrevocably changed our lives forever.
It's ten years before I see Gage again, and instantly I can tell he's not the same boy I fell in love with. We're both haunted and hardened by the memory of that night—of everything we did and saw.
Yet as much as we've changed, the connection between us lingers. Our history is so devastatingly complicated that it's difficult to allow ourselves happiness. With every touch, every laugh, every moment we take back, the more signs I see of the old Gage resurfacing. Little by little, I'm becoming the Joey he remembers too.
But it's never that easy. If we truly want to heal, we have to find strength not only in each other, but in ourselves. Life is filled with beautiful and terrible things, and this time, we'll do whatever it takes to hold on to the good, and to each other.
Hookups have always been my thing, and expanding new ways of playing has me . . . curious. The idea of submitting to someone's total domination and care? It feels right when not much else in my life has.
Dominance and submission have always been things I need in my life--even when it made me lose someone I loved. It's a thrilling, fulfilling spark when a submissive hands control over to me. And, for the right man, at the right time, maybe I need to be the one forced to my knees.
I've never understood the need to be submissive . . . or dominant, for that matter. Trust doesn't come easily for me. But there was that one time I watched my best friend with his Sir, and it roused something in me I don't want to admit. Just like I can't acknowledge out loud how alone I feel.
Then my friend, Jordan, decides to play with David, a dominant we both know, and I think I'm jealous. They intrigue me separately, but Jordan and David together makes my interest even more explosive. Maybe, I want to let go, to let someone else to take the reins, so I can just be. When the three of us decide to explore together, I realize how good it can feel to be submissive, but I like the other side of it, too. Discovering both my submissive and dominant side with them is just playing. I don't have it in me to fall in love with one person, so how can I risk the pain of loving two?