When I left home, I swore I'd never hide anything about myself again. From college, to law school, to the United States Senate representing California, I've done it all as an out gay man. So, when I'm in DC and see a beautiful guy at the hotel bar, I don't hesitate to proposition him...right before he runs out on me, leaving his sunglasses behind like my very own Cinderfella.
I've always known I'm gay, but never acted on it. Pretending isn't easy, but it means I can keep playing football. No one has ever guessed my secret until the gorgeous man at a bar in DC. At least he doesn't know who I am—the best tight end in the NFL, playing for the Atlanta Lightning. Though my identity doesn't stay a secret from him for long.
Between texts and late-night phone calls, we get to know each other. West's the only person who knows all the parts of me, just like I know his. When he asks for one night together so he can show me what it's like to be with a man, I can't say no. But once isn't enough, and we keep sneaking around together--brief encounters, in California, Georgia, or DC, filled with passionate touches and whispered truths.
I never thought I'd have love. West never thought he'd want it. Now we're all in with each other, but he still has time left in his Senate term. I have contract obligations to fulfill, and I'm closeted. We don't even live in the same state. The odds are stacked against us, but if there's one thing I know, it's how to win. He's the endgame in the biggest challenge of my life, the one I'm banking my future happiness on.
We were six years old when I fell in love with Gage Beaumont.
We were seventeen when he realized he felt the same.
His dad was the town troublemaker, and I was the son of a cop. We couldn't have been more different, yet we were best friends, had each other's backs, and kept each other's secrets. What you are, I am, we always said.
Then one night irrevocably changed our lives forever.
It's ten years before I see Gage again, and instantly I can tell he's not the same boy I fell in love with. We're both haunted and hardened by the memory of that night—of everything we did and saw.
Yet as much as we've changed, the connection between us lingers. Our history is so devastatingly complicated that it's difficult to allow ourselves happiness. With every touch, every laugh, every moment we take back, the more signs I see of the old Gage resurfacing. Little by little, I'm becoming the Joey he remembers too.
But it's never that easy. If we truly want to heal, we have to find strength not only in each other, but in ourselves. Life is filled with beautiful and terrible things, and this time, we'll do whatever it takes to hold on to the good, and to each other.
A night on the town after a long workweek at my family's distillery should include shots and dancing--not a hot kiss with a handsome stranger. I'm straight...at least, that's what I figured until I find myself locking lips with a sexy city boy. Now all my circuits are going haywire, and the spark that ignites between us makes me even more curious.
Unfortunately, I kissed the one man who's off-limits: Cohen Mitchell—the sole surviving heir to the Mitchell Creek distillery, a rival neighbor my family has feuded with for nearly a hundred years. Until he arrived in town, no one knew there were any Mitchells left. But the business-savvy city slicker has taken an interest in his legacy. Nothing means more to me than my family, so whether I like it or not, I have to keep my hands off the sexy, green-eyed beauty who Big Daddy has not-so-affectionately dubbed that "No Good Mitchell." Problem is: my hands have other plans...
I never expected to inherit a distillery from a father I had never known. That's how I find myself in a tiny Georgia town where everyone knows a family history I've been kept in the dark about. The townsfolk all have a different story about my ancestors, with two things in common: illegal activity and Mitchell vs O'Ralley forever.
Maybe I shouldn't like Brody O'Ralley, but I didn't grow up with this stupid family feud. I enjoy touching him, kissing him and—oops—I'm falling for the man with sweet Southern charm and a big heart. Between the O'Ralley patriarch hating me, getting the Mitchell Creek distillery off the ground, and working through my own family issues, I know I should stay away from Brody.
But I won't, and staying away is not what he wants either. I crave all the time with my country boy as I can get, even if it's breaking the rules. After all, I am a No Good Mitchell.
Nathaniel Montgomery can't escape the pressure to be perfect, to be smart, to be successful. To live the life chosen for him—one that doesn't include being gay.
Wren Cunningham lives on the streets and does what it takes to survive. No one has ever given a damn about him, so he works with the cards he's been dealt and pushes his dreams aside.
Fate steps in when Nate and Wren meet at eighteen years old. They have one week to live how they want, to pretend everything they hope for is within reach. What they don't expect is to find exactly what they need in each other . . . or to fall in love.
But sometimes love isn't enough, and goodbyes are inevitable.
No matter how much time passes, Nate and Wren never forget. They always find their way back to each other, and that helps them make it through. It's never been a question of if they want each other. Their love is constant and never fades. Love Always.
They've spent their whole lives dreaming about their future together. To have a fighting chance, they'll need to find a different kind of strength—learning to love themselves first.
If not, their next goodbye will be their last.
Shy science guy Liam and fun-loving jock Isaiah have been roommates since their freshman year in college. On the surface, they couldn’t be more different. What the rest of the world doesn’t know is that tucked between basketball, classes, and hanging with friends are some of Isaiah’s favorite moments—just Liam and Isaiah in their room, watching documentaries or goofing off. Liam certainly never imagined Isaiah would become one of his favorite people, but their friendship was pretty much solidified the first time Isaiah saved Liam from a killer spider.
When Isaiah discovers Liam is looking for a hookup to help him explore a secret kink, the idea of anyone touching Liam that way sparks a protective instinct Isaiah has never felt before. Then, Isaiah confesses that he’d like to be the one Liam experiments with, and Liam is completely bowled over—equal parts thrilled and wary of ruining their friendship.
From the first sting of Isaiah’s palm, Liam’s fantasy finally comes to life. The more they explore together, the closer they become, uncovering feelings neither were willing to admit before. But outside the haven of their room, reality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Isaiah isn’t out, and worries about his college basketball career. And Liam won’t be someone’s secret, not after he promised himself he’d stop hiding and being afraid.
Deciding how to navigate the world together will be the final exam they’ll need to ace.
PLEASE NOTE: For the first 90 days of this title’s publication, all sales and page reads will be donated to The LGBT Community Center of Cleveland and The LGBT Center of Raleigh.
**Science and Jockstraps is part of a multi-author series of books that take place in the same fictional town. Each story can be read in any order. The connecting element in the Ace's Wild series is an adult store owned by Ace and Wilder. The main characters from each book will make at least one visit to Ace's Wild, where they'll buy a toy to use in their story! The only characters who crossover to each book are Ace and Wilder. And with various heat levels, there's sure to be something for everyone!
Lorenzo Moretti and Damon Blackwell have never met, but they're tied together by the same tragedy. They were both there that night. They each lost someone they loved. They've been living as shells of their former selves ever since. Running into each other and realizing their shared pasts? Pure serendipity.
Being together is a tingle at the base of Enzo's spine, a comfort that settles into Damon's bones. No one understands what they went through the night the club caught fire--until now. For the first time, they have someone to lean on, someone who knows all the right things to say and when to say nothing at all. Neither of them has been with another man before, but their shared connection grows from friendship and explodes into something more, something raw and desperate and real. Now, they're dealing not only with their pasts, but their new relationship, the one thing that calms their internal storms.
Enzo and Damon might not know much else, but with every touch, with every word, and every night spent exploring each other's bodies, they know they're in love. They keep each other going, show each other what happiness really is.
But love alone can't get them through. Damon and Enzo must decide if they really have what it takes to work through their trauma and fight for the happily ever after that's waiting just on the horizon.
My home is my sanctuary. Or is it my prison? Some days it's hard to tell.
I've confined myself behind these walls for protection. I have my reasons, but that doesn't change the profound loneliness I've discovered in the process.
Then one day I find myself drifting toward the window to see him. Corey Marshall, my new neighbor. Quiet, reserved, and cute as can be. He infects my thoughts, becomes the image I fantasize about.
I want to taste his lips, smell his scent . . . feel what it's like to be inside him.
And soon, watching becomes exchanging gifts and messages, which becomes so much more.
It's wrong to want this as badly as I do, but I can't help myself. I crave him so desperately. It's hard to tell if what we're doing is going to make me lose my mind or change my entire world, but it's too late to turn back now . . .
I've never been quite right. Too high or too low. Pain is my constant companion . . . at the hands of my abusive ex, and often from myself. The sweet relief is only temporary, but in those moments, it's like I can finally breathe.
Then I meet him. Silas Rizner calms the chaotic storms inside me. He makes me feel loved, treasured, even when I don't deserve it. I cherish the moments we share—cooking, cuddling, and when Silas reads to me until I fall asleep. When he's inside me, it's the only time in my life I've ever felt complete.
Silas becomes the glue that holds me together, that bandages my scars. Inside the walls of his home, we're almost safe, but our demons are always there, waiting to break free.
We're a mess. We're broken, chaotic, beautiful; we're in love.
But not even love can slay our monsters. No, only we can do that.
Unless our monsters destroy us first.
TRIGGERS: Self-harm, depression, anxiety, mentions of past domestic violence.
*While the sexual situations depicted in Beautiful Chaos are imperative to the characters' development throughout the course of the novel, readers are advised to peruse the "Dear Reader" letter at the beginning of the book to help them make an informed decision about whether this particular story will be to their tastes. This letter can be viewed in the downloadable sample or by using the "Look Inside" feature found on the title's product page.
After the death of his wife, Tanner Rowe takes a step toward making her dream come true and buys the house with the dilapidated barn she’d been inexplicably drawn to in the picturesque Upper Peninsula. But after a year, he still can’t get past his grief long enough to make the repairs he’d promised.
Recently out of prison, Cole Lachlan has little to his name. Homeless, broke, and without many options as a felon, Cole heads to Red Bluff with hopes of a second chance. There he meets Tanner, whose loneliness mirrors his own, and soon Cole is trading room and board for rebuilding the burned-out barn on Tanner’s property that hasn’t been touched in seventy years.
Turns out, the barn holds more secrets than either of them could have imagined. After unearthing a hidden journal from 1948, Cole and Tanner spend their evenings poring over the pages, reading about a young man pining after his best friend. The deeper they delve into this forbidden affair from the past, the more Cole and Tanner’s own relationship shifts—from acquaintances to friends…to undeniable attraction.
But as they begin to deal with the newness of falling in love in the wake of Tanner’s loss and Cole’s past, they also become more determined to unravel the mystery of the young lovers who’ve captured their hearts, the rumors about the fire, and what really happened that fateful night.
"The world’s an awfully big thing to carry by yourself."
Zack lost his job, his apartment, and his hope, which is why he ends up on the roof of a high rise, certain that one final step will solve his problems. But a mysterious stranger named Rob happens to be on the roof that night too. He talks Zack down, convincing him there's still hope left in the world. Zack thinks maybe he's right, which is why he's shocked when he turns on the news the next morning to find out Rob jumped himself. Disturbed and confused, he searches for answers, starting with Rob’s brother Tommy Rayburn.
It’s been Tommy’s job to take care of his brother since they were kids, taking the blows from their father so Rob wouldn’t have to. Tommy thought he could protect him, even if it meant carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Considering Rob threw himself off a building, he obviously couldn't.
Then he meets Zack, a friend of Rob’s who’s suspiciously evasive about how they knew each other. But they’re both grieving and determined to find out why Rob jumped. Answers don’t come easily, and soon they’re soothing each other with sweat-slicked, passionate encounters. Hot as things get in the bedroom, it doesn’t take them long to realize there’s more between them than mind-blowing sex and their pain. But the heaviness is still there, threatening to pull them under, and if they can’t open up with each other to lighten the load, the weight just might be enough to crush them both.
ETHAN: I’m not used to anyone having the upper hand over me, and in a single night, Sean Wright rescues me twice. That’s why he intrigues me—why for the first time, I want another man. I’m used to getting what I want, and I don’t plan to let anything stop me. Only…he continues to get the best of me, and it only makes me want him more. When I start to see Sean’s not just good looks, hot sex, and constant competition, I realize I’m in over my head…and I might like it. He makes me laugh and he understands the pain I feel over my past, a pain we share. Even more than that, somehow, Sean *gets* me, but I’m not going to lie and pretend that giving my heart doesn’t scare me.
SEAN: The night I rescued the presumably straight Ethan Harris…twice, I figured that would be the last time I saw him. However, he keeps finding his way back into my life and into my bed. Guess he wasn’t as straight as I thought. Ethan’s full of surprises, though, and being bi is just one of them. As cocky as he can be, he’s also sharp and witty...and even when he’s being his most arrogant self, he’s charming as hell. He likes to win, but so do I. However, as we get to know each other, I realize there’s more to us than the games we play in and out of the bedroom. It’s a game neither of us have played before—one we could both wind up losing. And with our hearts on the line, the real question is, when push comes to shove, are we both UP FOR THE CHALLENGE?
They were only kids when they met for the first time. Leo Mancini was the son of a judge. Roman Cipriani the son of a criminal. So different, yet as they shared stolen kisses and secret moments, they fell in love. One day they would run away together, have the future they deserved, because no one loved Leo like Roman did, or Roman like Leo did. But before they could make their dreams come true, their future was viciously stolen and their lives changed forever.
Roman has spent the last twelve years repressing the trauma in his past, trying to pretend it didn't exist, until even he believed his own lies.
Leo won't let himself forget what happened because he doesn't ever want to be that person again. He won't become the man his father wanted him to be or the guy who gets hurt when he lets someone in.
But in that split second when their eyes meet again, everything changes. Despite Leo's anger and Roman's denial, the connection they shared as teens is still there, too powerful to deny. Now, when their moments don't have to be stolen, they cling to what they've always craved--each other.
Roman and Leo aren't kids anymore, though--they can't lock themselves away from the world and pretend nothing exists but each other. A trauma like Roman suffered doesn't just go away, but now that Roman accepts his truth, can the two of them escape their demons before they destroy Roman and Leo a second time?
Possible triggers: violence and homophobia